The Magic Carpet

Guru woke up this morning, the sun was shining, the business is rocking and the Democrats are in power...

What could be wrong?

I made a mistake, that's what. I broke my OWN rule and ventured into the sea of ignorance known as...

The Sporting News TOPIC AREAS!

With toxicity levels approaching Chernobyl, double-digit IQ's and a decidedly un-cosmopolitan audience, it might just be the L-A-S-T place a Guru like your Guru should tread.

But it was early...first puff of the day, getting ready to walk Scout and then go walk Chester, diet-coke poured...I got cocky, I waded in to those topic areas...

Ouch!

I ended up reading an article in which, Mark Attanasio, owner of the Milwaukee Brewers, called for a Salary Cap, reasoning that if the Yankees can afford to sign three players for more than his franchise is worth, their absolutely HAS to be something wrong and then added that if the Yankees sign a Type 1 player off HIS franchise and he doesn't get a #1 draft pick because they've already ceded that pick...

'But he thinks that when Milwaukee received only a pick at the end of the first round and one in the second for losing the left-hander that carried them to the postseason, something's wrong.'

(of course, he doesn't mention that this particular veteran was a member of his team for TWO MONTHS and was acquired specifically to get the Brewers into the Playoffs and then provide them with Type A picks, a bluff the Yankees called by getting all their needs met in ONE off-season and thus limiting the draft damage with a Farm System that was #2 at AAA and repeat MILB Franchise of the Year at AA).

Well then, you K-N-O-W Guru's peaceful Sunday was going to blow up, and there is NOTHING wrong with the Peace pipe (which is why there was no loss of life!)...so I went into FULL culture warrior mode, as I am wont to do when somebody plays off what is good for THEM as being good for everyone.

I said;

The Definition of a Loser...

vagabondguru on 31 Jan 2009 23:34
Attanasio should get a grasp on the History of Baseball...when New York clubs are winning - the Sport thrives, when they struggle - the game shuts down. For an owner in Milwaukee, a god-forsaken no-place where nothing has ever happened nor ever will to be presumptious enough to propose POLICY changes is an almost surrealistic bout of Ego. If the state of Wisconsin suddenly vanished, it might not even be NOTICED, much less the Brewers - it is encumbent upon such places and people to SHUT their pie-holes and take their medicine, or have that medicine shoved down their measly little throats!!!!

May he and his suffer greatly all of their days.

And that outrageously creepy invective had the desired effect, attracting culture war flies like a pile of fresh...well, you know....

BayAreaBandito on 01 Feb 2009 09:00

Bandito remembers a time period when the Yankees were a bunch of has beens, and baseball still went on as programmed. Heh, I make self laugh, the Yankees are once again has beens! Laugh Paco, it scare that ugly, bitter, mean man in your mirror away.

Bandito, here are the Facts
vagabondguru on 01 Feb 2009 09:24

There have been only two periods since 1920 that the Yankees went a protracted period without playoff baseball.

1965-1975 (11 Seasons) - In this period the game dropped to unwatchable levels, with only the New York Mets of 1969 providing any semblance of baseball history. While there were great teams that arose, the fact that they played in Oakland (West Coast), St. Louis (The ******* of America) and Cincinnatti (Ditto) cast a pale over their accomplishments. When the Yankees won the Pennant in 1976 over the odious and filthy Kansas City Royals, they saved the United States from an all-garbage World Series between worthless places filled with worthless people and allowed the legitimate Baseball Fan (read: Urban, East Coast) to enjoy the game that is designed for his or her pleasure, once again.

1982-1993 (12 Seasons) - Once again, the New York Mets provided the only bright spot during this phase with their stirring 1986 Championship, otherwise it was garbage from end (St. Louis) to end (Toronto), filled with only ONE Great Team, another Oakland version, who somehow managed to turn their dominance into two upset losses in the Series. The 1985 Tussle between St. Louis and KC might very well represent the sport's ALL-TIME low point. IN 1994, the Yankees were B-A-C-K, but a disgraceful action by ownership led to them not being able to take the best record into the Playoffs.

then...

rokes on 01 Feb 2009 11:26
Hey Vagabondguru

How about they just re-distribute all of the major league teams amongst the 5 burroughs and tag some of the teams across the country for specific areas of New York. Then they could all have a piece of the NT pie. Everyone knows only NY baseball matters.

THAT snapped my head back and I realized what an over-the-top Asshole I was being, saying things I do NOT mean to people I should not bother with. I responded accordingly, with a bit of measure...
My readers know I am simply giving the writer of this piece, Mark Attanasio and the readers of this piece some of their OWN medicine.

'New Yorkers have no illusions about competition, it is part of every moment of our lives. We don't want to get rid of any other place or its team. You will never hear New York fans calling themselves 'Brewer-Haters' for instance, or a Yankee player saying what Curt Schilling said 'I want to shut up 50,000 New Yorkers' or see Yankee Stadium play a sarcastic dig towards NYC as the Arizona Diamondbacks did as a way of celebrating their 2001 World Series victory - not two MONTHS after 9/11.

The POINT of the venom I put in these ridiculous comments is that there is no such thing as 'proportional' when it comes to competition. Israel does not have to limit itself to the weapons of its enemies when those folk have identified themselves AS enemies, they fight with everything they can muster - which is considerable and they fight FOR themselves. It is the same with the Yankees, it is absurd to suggest, as Attanasion does, that a franchise with the intrinsic advantages of population and tradition that the Yankees (and Mets) enjoy should base their expenditures and efforts upon what Attanasio and his ilk can afford.

To be a New Yorker is to believe that everybody is entitled to live/do/say/believe whatever they wish as long as it does not infringe upon ME. Yankee management is NOT beholden to Attanasio, it is in competition with him. It is NOT incumbent upon them to gauge the feelings of self-described 'Yankee-Haters' when making moves for its team. It is beholden to:

1.) Paying customers

It's goals are:

1.) To make money.
2.) To grow the value of the franchise.
3.) To win on the field, insuring items #1 and #2.

Since the Steinbrenner's purchased the team, that is exactly what they have done, creating a mirror image of its city - a place where every amenity is available to those who can perform and relentless competition will chew up those who do not.

This system has a name, it is called 'Capitalism'.'

And THEN...

BrewIsBrewin on 01 Feb 2009 15:04

Hey Vaga...How does it feel for a "no name team" (the Brewers) to make the post season when your beloved Yanks did not. I find it very funny that you're talking down on the Brewers the year after New York fails to do anything. At least the Brewers don't have an owner whose brain doesn't function. The world does not evolve around the Yankees. New York's world does, but that's just because you have nothing better to do. Get this in your head. The entire country hates you!

Ta-Da!

Mission accomplished, Guru...bringing yourself to the level of BrewIsBrewin, how proud you must be!

Hardly...

'Now, you understand why I speak of you the way I do - like Islam speaking of Israel, you 'Yankee-Haters' and NYC-Haters feel justified in hating us and feel that we should somehow agree to play on an equal footing with you.

The Brewers (like the A's, Pirates, Rays etc.) have done an excellent job of using the high draft positions to draft and develop talent, there is nothing to prevent the Brewers from competing for the post-season except their owner's willingness to KEEP HIS OWN TALENT. When Fielder, Braun etc, are ready to make market-rate salaries, will he ante -up? The reality is contained in his comments, he is planning to work on changing the system to guarantee his costs - something that every player in the game has heard him say. Insuring that NOBODY who HAS options will choose Milwaukee in the future.

As for 'the entire country hates you', more Americans live in my neighborhood than live in your city, five times as many Americans live in my city than live in the STATE of Wisconsin. My city is the face of America for people all over the world ,who come here in admiration as do we New Yorkers when we go to visit them. NYC is the capital of business, finance, culture, fashion and media in the United States and is comprised of people from all over the world, including Wisconsin, who wish to live and work amongst free, tolerant, impact people. New York's strength is AMERICA's strength - freedom, tolerance, capitalism - and it is why we have been impactful for 400 years. The ONLY people in the world who hate NYC are those people who want the world to look a certain way and reject immigrants, minorities, gays being on an equal footing and competing evenly with white, christian, heterosexual natives.

Being hated by such garbage (Sarah Palin, Dubya) is a badge of honor.'

And onandonandon...another day in America, another day online talking with Americans who see the world in almost completely OPPOSITE ways.

As you can tell from reading the absurd particulars, it has almost NOTHING to do with Sports.

Guru is not one to throw the first punch (my experience with the Lyndon LaRouche operative notwithstanding - another column!), but I am a TRASH TALKIN' MOTHERFUCKER, if you got stuff to say that is cultural in nature and you get in my face, you can ALWAYS expect to take a 2 X 4 in the face.