Judge Judy Can't Hold a Candle to Me!
By sf4d9erfan1
Please Rise!!
The Honorable SF is now presiding. All those who cannot uphold the moral dignity of this court must please exit now and please be sure to not let the door hit you where the good lord split you.
In today's docket we have the age old question of who is the better athlete . . . Deion Sanders or Bo Jackson.
The case is structured as follows:
Defendant: Mr. Prime Time
Prosecution: The bat breaker
Let us jump right in, shall we?
The defendant has made claims that he is one of the fastest men ever to play the game of football and/or baseball. The prosecution laughs at such a ludicrous claim. We all know that during the 80s and 90s baseball speed was measured in the amount of 3 baggers you could post coupled with the amount of steals one could collect. When all the dust settled Sanders was left holding the bag in these categories. The most steals he collected was in 1997 with 56 and the most triple's he collected was in 1992 with 14. This proves that in relation to a majority of baseball speedsters Deion was not even on the same ball field as greats like Ricky Henderson. That being said, the prosecution's laughing jesters were a bit hypocritical as we soon find out that he collected only 27 total bags in 1988 and only 6 triples in 1989. Therefore in relation to the topic of baseball speed Bo apparently didn't know he was creamed by Deion.
The prosecution begs the court to consider power in order to gain back some dignity. Since the court is a merciful one it shall investigate the statistics that apply to this category . . . . Home Runs and RBIs.
The defendant’s smile quickly turns to a disgruntlement as he remembers that his homerun total only managed to reach 39 over the course of his career and his RBI's peaked at 168. On the other hand, Jackson smashed 181 home runs and cleared the bags of 415 base runners in the RBI category. These figures clearly doubling the defendant in both areas and has thus leveled the playing field once again.
VS. 
The court has ruled that in order to break the tie an evaluation of their football accomplishments must be accessed in order to determine who the best is.
Since the two opponents were in different position and on different sides of the ball a total evaluation will comprise the final resolution.
Deion accumulated and impressive resume over his 14 years. It is as follows:
Offensive TDs including punt returns: 9
Forced Fumble: 10
Fumbles Committed: 19
Defensive TDs: 9
INT: 53
Pro Bowls: 8
Jackson accumulated an impressive resume over his 4 years. It is as follows:
Offensive TDs: 18
Fumbles Committed: 11
Yards: 2782
Pro Bowls: 1
The court has come to conclusion.
Despite the misfortune of Mr. Jackson's injury and the disdain the ruling judge has for Mr. Primetime, the court must rule in the favor of the defendant. His overall athletic talent on the football field compensated the staggering lead that Mr. Jackson had accumulated in baseball. However, this is not to say that had Mr. Jackson not fell victim to professional tragedy, he could not have overcome poor football numbers and progressed his career to heights far greater then those of Mr. Sanders. This court is now open to appeal by those who may hold it in contempt.
This 49er fan writes with intelligence and wit on sports topics of all manner. Find him here.
Please Rise!!
The Honorable SF is now presiding. All those who cannot uphold the moral dignity of this court must please exit now and please be sure to not let the door hit you where the good lord split you.
In today's docket we have the age old question of who is the better athlete . . . Deion Sanders or Bo Jackson.
The case is structured as follows:
Defendant: Mr. Prime Time
Prosecution: The bat breaker
Let us jump right in, shall we?
The defendant has made claims that he is one of the fastest men ever to play the game of football and/or baseball. The prosecution laughs at such a ludicrous claim. We all know that during the 80s and 90s baseball speed was measured in the amount of 3 baggers you could post coupled with the amount of steals one could collect. When all the dust settled Sanders was left holding the bag in these categories. The most steals he collected was in 1997 with 56 and the most triple's he collected was in 1992 with 14. This proves that in relation to a majority of baseball speedsters Deion was not even on the same ball field as greats like Ricky Henderson. That being said, the prosecution's laughing jesters were a bit hypocritical as we soon find out that he collected only 27 total bags in 1988 and only 6 triples in 1989. Therefore in relation to the topic of baseball speed Bo apparently didn't know he was creamed by Deion.
The prosecution begs the court to consider power in order to gain back some dignity. Since the court is a merciful one it shall investigate the statistics that apply to this category . . . . Home Runs and RBIs.
The defendant’s smile quickly turns to a disgruntlement as he remembers that his homerun total only managed to reach 39 over the course of his career and his RBI's peaked at 168. On the other hand, Jackson smashed 181 home runs and cleared the bags of 415 base runners in the RBI category. These figures clearly doubling the defendant in both areas and has thus leveled the playing field once again.
VS.
The court has ruled that in order to break the tie an evaluation of their football accomplishments must be accessed in order to determine who the best is.
Since the two opponents were in different position and on different sides of the ball a total evaluation will comprise the final resolution.
Deion accumulated and impressive resume over his 14 years. It is as follows:
Offensive TDs including punt returns: 9
Forced Fumble: 10
Fumbles Committed: 19
Defensive TDs: 9
INT: 53
Pro Bowls: 8
Jackson accumulated an impressive resume over his 4 years. It is as follows:
Offensive TDs: 18
Fumbles Committed: 11
Yards: 2782
Pro Bowls: 1
The court has come to conclusion.
Despite the misfortune of Mr. Jackson's injury and the disdain the ruling judge has for Mr. Primetime, the court must rule in the favor of the defendant. His overall athletic talent on the football field compensated the staggering lead that Mr. Jackson had accumulated in baseball. However, this is not to say that had Mr. Jackson not fell victim to professional tragedy, he could not have overcome poor football numbers and progressed his career to heights far greater then those of Mr. Sanders. This court is now open to appeal by those who may hold it in contempt.
This 49er fan writes with intelligence and wit on sports topics of all manner. Find him here.