The Magic Carpet

Sometimes life throws you, well, pieces of crap.

And sometimes it gives you bon bons.

And sometimes it is just life.

For a long, long time TSN was a big part of my life. My “father-in-law”, Grouchy, got me into fantasy football and it became a source of income in a time that income was hard to come by. A major source of frustration to the stockbrokers in his league that eventually realized it was a woman that was relieving them of their cash!

They had assumed it was his son, Slouchy.

Slouchy couldn’t make income from a wide open ATM machine!

Anyhow, I became known as “The Wife” in this league, which I never really was, because Slouchy and I weren’t married and we weren’t really a couple, just old business partners trapped in a cycle. In six years I made a pretty nice pile off these boys.

Then Grouchy left us and it just wasn’t the same, it all faded away.

Sometimes big parts of our lives do.

I used TSN advice, draft kits and what not to give me a leg up in this one Yahoo league and it proved to be helpful and there would soon be other leagues, including a keeper rotisserie baseball league (never thought I’d be such a geek as that!) which is extremely difficult, but I came out okay, until TSN cancelled that too.

I had Albert FUCKING Pujols! Dammit!

One of my friends, a Liverpudlian cinematographer named Collin, has a son, who thinks I’m brilliant because of this love of fantasy sports. He is eight and is so into sports that he calls himself Sporge (really George) and I suppose if nothing else impressing an adorable eight year old that belongs to someone I adore is a benefit.

I had long ago signed up for a, long time unused, blog because TSN had ENCOURAGED it.

And after a while, in 2006, I got the idea that a woman’s advice on fantasy sports might be something that would grab me an audience.

Um… nope.

Though I did notice that you men, especially in the football leagues became far too attached to the players (Brett Favre comes to mind) even when it was apparent they were waiver wire fodder and you NEEDED advice. It was the stats and being able to spot trends that netted me the stupid plastic trophies, cash (in money leagues) and the digital medals that decorate my TSN profile, but it wasn’t really sports that you wanted.

You wanted to hear about my life.

That’s how I really connected to all of you. Sure sports simmered in the background, but it was the human element that drew me to all of you.

Bartolis was having a baby, Madman was still in love with his fifth wife (?) I lost count, Backell once lived in South Africa and Lew, oh Buddha, Lew and his comas, Shaky, how can you not love him? or Big Toke?

I have talked to Guardian of the Galaxy on the phone. How cool is that?

To be able to say you just hung up with the Guardian of the Galaxy?

The two of us continue to find serendipity in our lives.

I once talked to enova, yeah he was Bucky Kentucky, I’m letting that cat out of the bag, for four freakin’ hours until three in the morning! And I think I actually know his real name, but the voice mail he left me was garbled.

Dude, call me back!

And Southern Lion you still owe me a version of “Little Wing”!

And I ain’t gonna forget!

Mo and I are forever connected, in ways none of you will ever know. His father and mine died of the same disease, but there is more to the story than that. I can’t imagine not having him in my life, even if it is just a Facebook poke every once in a while.

I can be found on Facebook as Mal Volio and under my real name, which any of you ning nongs ought to be able to figure out.

I also started a group there for TSN bloggers.

Yes, I started a war here at one point (okay it was a rally). It seems so ridiculous now, but I still can’t seem to post a column without it being thumbed down. I’m proud of it now, though I must confess at times it hurt. It doesn’t matter anymore.

Most of all, I found one of my best friends here, an exotic dancer, a talented writer (someone who wakes me up with shots of his ass at 3:00AM, what’s not to love?) and a thorn in many a side. Realizing TSN was NOT the best place for him and I, I built a web site around him, a place where we both could be ourselves and use those (expletives) that we both adore. It is really cool looking, disorganized as hell, but I love it.

And I will shamelessly sell it to you as long as TSN allows it. (Apparently not that long.)

My life has changed in so many ways.

I drifted away from all of you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss you.

I started working on films again, something I hadn’t done in years and it sure has shaken up my life and bitten into my time. It has caused me endless problems and screwed over lots of things that I had dreams of being different. But there are times that creating something becomes glorious and that is why I continue to pump my time into movies and VG.com.

The love of creating…

That’s what we did here. We created something. TSN only ever gave us space, it is what we did with that space that was special. That will outlast time and be a memory forever.

My latest saying is “I’m not in love with anyone, but I love everybody.”

It is true I love you all.

Yup, that's me as I sit typing at this computer doing a TSN column for the last time.

Note: Since 2006 I wrote a column on The Sporting News. I tried to post at least once a week and was mostly successful at that. But it was the folks I met and the games we played that mattered most. I won't ever forget that time.

Posted by M. Hannington at 02:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

By Matthew Storey

I usually don't read prognostications from other writers, and don't watch ESPN...

But I always do when I know what the deal is, and want to hear others make fools of themselves.

I've seen Eric Allen (Eagle) and Chris Carter (Eagle/Viking) explain for three consecutive weeks why the Cowboys are not the team we've watched these past years or past weeks. A lot is made about mythology in Sports, and in Politics, and in Economics..

But not by smart people.

Smart people root, fight, fuck, pray just as hard as idiots.

They do so, however, not based upon fantasies or mythology, but upon D-A-T-A.

Not just stats, not just trends. Data. Stats, Trends, Anecdotal.

Anecdotal data is NOT mythology.

Here is the difference.

Anecdotal data is the Observation of Derek Jeter playing Shortstop. Watch him play and you see a guy who impacts Defensively on almost every game he plays, who has a gun and may retire having thrown out more runners from the outfield grass than any SS in history, who might have tracked down pop-ups over a larger range of ground than any SS, who is brilliant on the Double Play.

Statisticians disagree.

None of them ever played the position.

Luckily, for YOU.

Guru did.

Onward.

The NFL Quarterfinals are upon us, and lo and behold, these might be the most impressive Eight NFL teams since the early '90s and the Pre-Cap Era - after a long adjustment period and ahead of an uncapped year, its apparent, the NFL is back on the cusp of a Golden Era.

Thank Asimov!

Here's the breakdown:

Saturday January 16, 2010

Arizona Cardinals (NFC West) #4 Seed (10-6) at New Orleans Saints (NFC South) #1 Seed (13-3)

Arizona is better in every facet, and they will advance.

Baltimore Ravens (AFC North Wildcard) #6 Seed (9-7) at Indianapolis Colts (AFC South) #1 Seed (14-2)

A much more interesting game, between two evenly matched teams.

I like the Colts because their most important players are seasoned, the same reason I like the Chargers.

But on TALENT. Tough one to call.

I made mine.

Sunday January 17, 2010

Dallas Cowboys (NFC East) #3 Seed (11-5) at Minnesota Vikings (NFC North) #2 Seed (12-4)

The Cowboys are better in every phase of the game and will advance.

New York Jets (AFC East Wildcard) #5 Seed (9-7) at San Diego Chargers (AFC West) #2 Seed (13-3)

Despite the stench of being #2 (thanks Steve!), the Chargers are the best team in the NFL, courtesy of an 11 game winning streak and their game against an in-form Cowboy team in which they won and looked like the better squad despite the score (20-17) and the flukish circumstances (Boys missed chippie FG with since-released injured K and failed to register ANY points despite driving down the field relentlessly and going oh-for-final yard.

The Jets are the dominant team of the AFC East present and, a future conqueror of these Chargers.

That ain't now.

Posted by Matthew at 03:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

By Mary Hannington

Vagabond Guru was once one of the most constant and prolific sportswriters on the planet... well, okay sometimes he went off the deep end, but he ALWAYS came back? Right?

It is my sincere wish and one that I'm sure that you share with me that he come back to us whole and full of that great insight of his.

Since I have been examining my own psyche these days and like Guru I have tormenters (good and bad) of my own that keep me from doing what I wish. I've noticed that Freud's death instinct applies to me. Freud divided the Id into two categories. "Life Instincts" (Eros) - Food/Sex and "Death Instincts" (Thanatos) - the wish to end the struggle for happiness, essentially the desire to escape from reality. Lately, there hasn't been much of a chance for indulgence - no time for food (I can't even count the skipped lunches over the past few months) and sex? What's that?

So I start looking for peace, for some escape, the more I am thwarted the angrier I get - it's classic "Death Instinct".

Armed with this knowledge we have concocted a little experiment on our beloved Guru.

We're figuring if we can keep him in a state of aggression for longer periods of time that eventually he'll go all haywire and concentrate more on the food, the sex and oh yeah, the SPORTS!

Me? I'll just go back to Yoga.

But before I do... the Facebook hackers have taken over a lot of my friend's profiles and my In Box is again full of links to "Fuck Buddy" sites, maybe I'll have just a little peak (freudian slip) er peek...

Posted by M. Hannington at 02:39 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

By Matthew Storey

Did you ever love a person who was really, really HOT. You couldn't take your eyes off them, and the more you looked, the more you liked. Right away, without even realizing what is happening...you start assigning desirable traits to them, and fit them into your favorite fantasies and life scenarios... sigh...

Franchise QuarterBacks can be a lot like that for a fan. Ask a Cowboy fan the best thing about life in the 1970's, the list won't hit many spots before, #12, Roger Staubach, comes into the conversation...accompanied by a glassy look back and a smile.

Roger and the Cowboys were the best team for a few years, but they were also the team who 'couldnt win the big one', but on January 16, 1972, that all changed, the Heisman winning, square jawed scrambler with the big arm and big will stopped being the 'crush' and became 'The Man'. Cowboys 24, Dolphins 3, Super Bowl VI to the star and Roger on his way to immortality and an eternal spot in your heart.

There was another Super Bowl, two 4 point losses to the Pittsburgh Steelers juggernaut who laid claim to the Decade, and then the concussions took Roger the Dodger away from us, too soon.

But there was hope, a younger QB with a rocket arm of his own. Danny White was going to be 'The Man' now and the Championships would continue to flow between the Red River and the Rio Grande. White threw Touchdowns, threw for big yardage and Cowboys chewed up NFC rivals each Regular Season like the '70s squads had.

NFC Championship Game in 1980 versus the Eagles? Cowboys and White favored, Eagles win.

NFC Championship Game in 1981 versus the 49ers? Cowboys and White favored, 49ers and 'The Catch'.

NFC Championship Game in 1982 versus the Redskins? Cowboys and White favored, Redskins win.

There were other games for White, Pro-Bowls, passing records, lost playoff games.

No Cowboy fan thinks of White. A crush that faded when it became apparent there wasn't any there, there.

Then, the Dark time...

A new owner, a new coach, a 1st Round QB arrived.

Learning pains. Progression. Three Super Bowls in Four years with his best play in the one year they did NOT win.

Troy Aikman was the crush who went to 'The Man', never wavered, never failed to come through.

Ask a Cowboy fan who met the love of their life and had two kids in the '90s what they remember about that time?

Troy, Emmitt, Michael. Oh, and...them.

Once again, the concussions took The Man prematurely, the rules got changed, the team got weaker, a decade passed...

The Cowboys got a new crush, and he hasn't yet finished three full seasons on the job.

But he's got it goin' on, for sure. Passes fly around to waiting receivers, pass rushers fly by, unable to get a hand on him, the defense parts like hot butter when he is in charge. Speaks well, throws big, wins late.

He took the job, wowed the league, went to the Playoffs, had a win right in his fingers...

..and dropped the ball, the kick wasn't to be, the Cowboys lost a Playoff game they dominated.

It's cool, we said. He isn't a HOLDER, he's a QB!

And so he is, the next season was a revelation, 13-3, #1 seed, domination of the Giants for a half of the playoff game...complete collapse in the 2nd half, a loss to a team they'd beaten twice.

Wags talked about Blondes and Cabo. Nobody talked about 'choke'...

Last year was THE year with THE man. He got hurt, they struggled late, they MISSED the playoffs after being the consensus #1 coming into the season. In the final game, with everything on the line, the QB and team were dominated by a team they'd dominated months earlier, by a Defense they knew and Romo looked lost...

He said the right things afterward...

And then, yesterday, Sunday night against the Giants, the new Cowboys stadium debut, the only true test in the early part of their schedule, a chance to open a season 5-0 and have a stranglehold on the NFC East going into the bye, week six.

Tony Romo was the focus of the offense in previous years, Running Backs were the contrast, Running Backs were hurt. Tony threw it and if he could avoid turning it over, we won.

But yesterday, with a running game that can only be dreamed about and a Defense that could not be run against, Tony Romo finally had a chance to be a QB who didn't have to be heroic, only to manage the game, limit mistakes and let his team roll.

He couldn't do it. He threw the ball over his Running Backs and into the hands of a bystander Defender for a INT/TD, he threw the ball behind his Tight End, off his foot, into the hands of a bystander Defender for a INT/FG, he threw the ball so far over the head of a wide receiver and into the hands of a bystander Defender for an INT/FG, so FAR over his head it was described as a 'punt'. With Marion Barber running over people, Felix Jones running around them and Tashard Choice running through them and receivers all over the field, Tony Romo just could not manage himself. In a big game, the big talent was a liability instead of a winner.

Again.

And, as with Danny White, after awhile it stops hurting. High expectations built on reasonable probability are the ones that get fans off, the ones that make being a fan such a glorious expectation. Once a player has repeatedly performed at a lower level than the worst you could have imagined, those expectations evaporate and are replaced with 'faith' - which is a code word for 'no idea how this guy is ever going to come through, but we are stuck with him and have to believe or go crazy!'

Tony Romo is a good guy. He said all the right things, he usually does.

'...we'll keep clawing and going forward and I'll improve and I'll fix this. We'll be better tomorrow. I'll be better. We'll go forward'.

And you still believe, because he's only in his 42nd NFL Start this week and he has all the tools....

But, somewhere in your heart, you've detached. The losses in big spots have become so commonplace that the victory, if it comes, will be more about relief than joy.

Tony Romo came to Dallas and we thought we had Roger or Troy, Sunday night, we got Danny.

But we can dream...sometimes a dream is all you have, what you don't have, as a Cowboy fan is a compelling reason to remain engaged with the 2009 Cowboys. Head Coach Wade Phillips seems earnest, for sure, and he knows what he is doing. But, after 30 years of NFL experience, he has never won, at all, and his team continues to underperform in every big spot, with big turnovers, big penalties, crucial mistakes. Maybe it ISN'T his fault, but that is what happens...Romo means us well, will thrill for weeks and put us back in position...but what then?

This is a team who can grab our interest in only one way, and that won't be here for three months.

Until then, the NFC season has become a formality, a non-event. In week two!

Posted by Matthew at 05:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

By Matthew

Once you have saved your post remember to add keywords separated by commas.

Welcome back, NFL fans.

And, if this is your first visit to The Magic Carpet, you will soon understand that I am talking TO certain fans and will infuriate others. Because no matter what is happening in the Country, Major League Baseball and the NBA are Democrat sports and Football is the GOP Game.

A Free Enterprise Democrat like Guru LOVES a players league where the best talents make the coin and drive the interest - that's Baseball. In Baseball, once you've proven your value - you are in line for a pile. The GOP types pull their hair out over the love for Manny, Alex and the Yankees and cannot understand why the Schillings get blasted instead of championed by other players and urban media. City people in Blue Places fill Baseball stadiums, rural folks in Red ones bitch about steroids and pine for the 'old days', but as in all of their nostalgia, those old days featured even MORE winning by the Yankees and top dollar talent flowing towards places where it got paid. Democrats LIKE strong unions, strong opinions, diversity, foreigners in on the party and wave after wave of young talent flowing in on the schedule that talent creates. Free Enterprise lovers LIKE meritocracy, businesses that thrive or fail based on productivity and a straightforward path to wealth for talent.

A Feudalist Republican PREFERS an owners league, staffed by subjugated employees who have to stay healthy to get paid, have their salaries 'capped' by men who have vast fortunes/generate massive revenues from the Sport who pool their interests so nobody loses from not winning and everybody wins as long as the TV money flows in (and Jerry has to share his apparel revenue!) In Football, the Pile is there for a select few BEFORE they've proven a thing and the established talent are taunted and gimmicked to keep their cost down. When a player moves into a higher echelon of compensation in a lot of NFL places, the implied message is 'home team discount' and, if that don't fly the whispers start about attitude and that guy will be shipped, regardless of production, rather than PAID what he's earned - that money, of course, goes instead to talent who come from only ONE source the 'system' from college Football, under league restraint. Those kids who wander off of Dominican fields or Japanese Company leagues onto MLB rosters don't exist in the NFL. Feudalist don't really dislike socialist principles, they only dislike them when they benefit the employee and they think Capitalism means what is good for Capital (meaning them), not economic dynamism that generates quality. The NFL is the auto-industry of the '60s, they want to keep things JUST THE WAY THEY ARE and, with no competition, they can keep it going.

In Baseball, the best players who ever played - play now. In Football, the parity means teams flare up and down and that is the draw, not the quality.

Jones is the NFL Steinbrenner, and like him, the players all want to wear his uniform, live like kings and be the center of attention and the other owners and fans despise him for not walking in lockstep on 'us' versus 'them' and the demonizing of minority loudmouths. Here its the Warners who get the L-O-V-E and the TO, Chad and Romo who are the 'bad guys', Tedy Bruschi is his coaches hero for being a selfless overachiever but Assante Samuel and Richard Seymour get banished for having the balls to think they should command top dollar for their HOF skill levels.

A season after the collapse of Cowboy health and leadership took the consensus NFC Champs all the way down to 9-7 and a playoff-less season with a trashing at the hands of the Philadelphia Eagles and NFL fans watched in HORROR as the cretin Kurt Warner and the Arizona Cardinals, they of no tradition, no fan base, and a 3-7 Regular Season record against the actual NFL (6-0 against the NFC Western chump change - Rams, 49ers, Seahawks)...

One thing is clear. There is only one way for things to go and that is UP.

For Guru, the NFL has been a diminished commodity since the establishment of the Salary Cap in the mid '90s and each season has generated a little less excitement. Last year, on the heels of the thrilling Giants/Patriots Super Bowl and the possibility of a truly great Cowboy team that would generate the sorts of interest only the Cowboys can...the excitement crept back in. But Brady was hurt in week one. Romo was hurt in week 4. Teams nobody cares about like the Baltimore Ravens and Atlanta Falcons rose from nowhere behind rookie QBs and Arizona made the case against salary cap sports emphatically.

Perhaps the worst year in NFL history.

BUT...there was some good news, The Pittsburgh Steelers, behind terrific young coach, Mike Tomlin, are compelling squad of stars on both sides of the ball, who play for energetic fans and stress team and players, not 'system'. Like Chuck Noll, the legendary Steeler Coach who created the dynasty of the '70s, Tomlin avoids the sideline/interview spectacle of Bill Cowher and keeps the focus on the FIELD. With Big Ben Roethlisberger at QB and holding 2 Rings in his pocket, Polamalu and Harrison leading a dynamic defense and Santonio Holmes, Hines Ward and Heath Miller catching flies - the Steelers are as compelling a Champion as Arizona is disheartening.

The good and bad of the NFL.

Over the winter the bad boys got a lot of ink, Pacman lost his Cowboy gig and may or may not wind up in Canadian football, a Tennessee prison or a Reality TV Series on VH1, Terrell Owens lost HIS Star and ended up in the frozen wasteland of Buffalo (enjoy!), Michael Vick is free and ready to spread his Eagle wings and restore his place as a fan thrilling attraction ON the field, Shawn Merriman celebrated his Steroid use with a choke-hold on his 4'11" girlfriend, who is ALREADY a Reality TV star - so no need for a development effort, its all readymade. In the Meadowlands, Plaxico got 2 years of Jail for waving a gun around and plugging himself in the thigh, but wingman Antonio Pierce the anchor of the Defense avoided time and stud DE Osi Umenyiora went AWOL but returned in time to play his heart out for the openly despised Tom Coughlin, who vies annually with Parcells in Miami, and his various proteges - Bellichick in New England, Mangini in Cleveland and Josh McDaniels in Denver for the title of NFL's biggest JERK (McDaniels has had such a strong start, this category may be the easiest to predict in 2010!).

Brett Favre, who collapsed physically and mentally and sabotaged an 8-3 Division Leading J-E-T-S in the stretch drive of '08, got the call and the cash to lead the Minnesota Vikings to....where exactly? Perhaps the Vikings took note of those OTHER veteran QB's who looked useless and washed up in the Meadowlands, before resurrecting their careers (to the chagrin of people of taste) at the expense of exciting young QB talent in Arizona (Warner, with his James Dobson politics and sickening spouse over Matt Leinart the charismatic SoCal stud) and Tennessee (Kerry Collins, bigot pickup guy over Vince Young, who might have been the most exciting rookie to lead a team when he arrived but has had some growing-up pains since). There is nothing worse than watching retreads with terrible histories in place of compelling kids with bright futures, its a league killer and Favre is the latest example of the trend. Like Bellichick/Parcells and the top-down 'system' of faceless role players ascendant and the punishment of captivating personalities (Chad OchoCinco was AWESOME chewing up the bigot moron Joe Buck on HBO) the No-Fun league seemingly never loses a chance to market itself to the lowest common denominator in American society and push what was once the greatest player league into Reality TV every Sunday afternoon.

So, you get it. A 40 year NFL fan who is down, down, down on the NFL product and has spent less time with the league since the Super Bowl than in any off-season since the Era of the St. Louis Rams (and Warner!) first turned off the joy a decade ago. Accordingly, the in-depth previews of past seasons just isn't possible this year, but Guru WILL look at each division and pose questions for fans to answer.

And as for Jerry Jones, who pours himself into his team, his brand and his league and is adored by players and Cowboy fans for it and despised by all those who think everything would be 'perfect' if those players did not care so much about Money, if the high talent skilled minority athletes would be the faux humble, Tio Tom routine perfected by Albert Pujols in Baseball instead of being who they are, unapologetically. These folks think that America is the land of FREEDOM, of course, as long as everyone acts like a suburban, Megachurch attending, caucasian, heterosexual who doesn't carry a library card but proudly carries the NRA card. Jerry doesn't care who you fuck, what you do to party, or that you want to make as much money as possible - SO DOES HE, and he knows that players want owners to WANT them to make coin and grab attention, that his fans expect top dollar talent, high exposure regardless of the results on the field - the point is to leave no stone unturned to make everything the best it can be for the player and the fan - the product and the customer. Meanwhile Woody Johnson, who inherited billions of dollars and owns the Jets sticks his fans with a tenant status in 'Giants' stadium and plays hardball with the union while bragging at the GOP Convention that he is against 'limits' on wealth, that is he is against limiting HIS Wealth!

AFC East

New England Patriots
New York Jets
Miami Dolphins
Buffalo Bills

New England Patriots

New England is a mystery as well. Their consistent excellence leads all to expect great things upon Brady's return and there is little doubt they will be the better prepared, better constructed squad in games against their AFC East opponents, who are all in various states of flux. But a look at the Patriot roster and questionable moves of recent years (letting 25 year old stud CB Assante Samuel walk and trading DE Richard Seymour) make it hard to determine how they are going to effectively run the football (underachiever Maroney, aging Fred Taylor, doing it with mirrors Kevin Faulk) or Defend elite teams (after Mayo and Thomas, which Patriot defender impresses?).What IS worth loving is watching the incomparable Brady and Moss do their thang, if it comes along with Bellichick and Faulk, well nothing is perfect!

New York Jets

Jets are on the come, Eric Mangini wore out his welcome with that crusty Parcells act and his former players are jumping through hoops to have the engaging Rex Ryan in town (who seems to have none of his father Buddy's jerkiness). Ryan has brought along stud ILB Bart Scott to join a group of dynamic young defenders in a scheme that will allow more athleticism and energy. On Offense, the kid QB from USC, Mark Sanchez, gives the Jets exactly what those fans in Arizona, Tennessee and Minnesota do NOT have - a chance at a future with a young QB worthy of development (sure worked in Atlanta and Baltimore), Jets have Cotchery to catch it but a list of suspects behind him and unsettled roster situation at RB, but they will be on the right road in '09.

Miami Dolphins

In Miami, the 1st Place schedule, Jet improvement and return of Brady in New England will usher them out of the playoffs this season. Parcells organizational skill and Tony Sparano's quality coaching gave them a pop in year one, just as the Tuna popped in Dallas on arrival, but you can only go so far with that and it will take time for the young talent to emerge - a step back for Phins.

Buffalo Bills

I have no idea. At one point last year, I thought the Bills were becoming the Cowboys of the AFC (or Chargers of the East) with an exciting bunch of athletes whose penalties and turnovers sabotaged them weekly. They have pieces on Defense, a young QB of quality (Trent Edwards) and a stud RB (Marshawn Lynch) but injuries and disarray have dominated so far in preseason and its tough to know what they have going on.

Accordingly, The Magic Carpet sees no Playoff wins for the Patriots, who are the Eastern champions by default and a possible Wild Card tease from the young Jets falling short this season.

AFC South

Indianapolis Colts
Tennessee Titans
Jacksonville Jaguars
Houston Texans

Indianapolis Colts

Speaking of Tio Tom! The ultimate phony uncle, Tony Dungy (sliming his pious arm around Michael Vick the way fellow homophobe, GOP, uncle-tom Reggie White used to 'adapt' troubled players made Guru puke!) is gone and while he may be faux as a man, he was one hell of an NFL coach. Colts are past the Championship window in terms of their core talent, but with Peyton and some key Defenders at full health, they can still pop if more talented teams crumble in on themselves (San Diego, Pittsburgh).

Tennessee Titans

I like Jeff Fisher, but I loathe Kerry Collins. Titans play tough on both sides of the ball, but lack the sort of game changers who win titles. Solid, candidate for Wild Card, but not a Ring.

Jacksonville Jaguars

Two years ago, I thought Jacksonville was RIGHT there under coach Jack Del Rio, but they had a suite of injuries to their top defenders and Byron Lefwich hurt his foot and was replaced by backup, David Gerrard, who is 'just a guy' and now, the Jaguars? They are 'just a team'. Yawn.

Houston Texans

Hate their city. Hate their owner. Hate the way the slimed the Oilers out and got this team as a 'reward'. LOVE their defensive kids and think they can jump up and make something happen, but who cares?

Colts rule, Titans and Texans might flip in the second half, neither can win a playoff game.

AFC North

Pittsburgh Steelers
Baltimore Ravens
Cleveland Browns
Cincinnati Bengals

Pittsburgh Steelers

Mike Tomlin looks like he is settling in for a decades long Steeler coaching career, they got the right guy - again. Big Ben has two in the pocket and only a bike crash and internal surgery has stopped him as a pro, the Defense is young, gifted, relentless. The Offensive line remains a concern, opening holes for the run-heavy offense and protecting Ben, the franchise being so critical and that keeps the Steelers from bring presumptive choices for a repeat.

Baltimore Ravens

Joe Flacco freaked on arrival and the Defense held up despite age concerns, but Rex Ryan and Bart Scott depart, signaling a team moving from a Defense rich/QB poor version to a QB dependent/average Defense group. The change in stylistics doesn't change the fact that they are simply not in the Steelers class.

Cleveland Browns

Eric Mangini is a decent guy, I think. I thought he was growing up and improving with the Jets, but Favre's collapse killed him there and subsequent comments from players indicate he was not moving away from the Parcells script after all. All of which has been proven in a paranoid circus Pre Season in his debut with the Browns. Brady Quinn is terrific and young, he should be the guy. The problem in Cleveland is Defense. 3rd place.

Cincinnati Bengals

Marvin Lewis has failed year after year and still has a job. Carson Palmer looked all-world for awhile, but is settling into Bledsoe avenue...Chad is a big market guy in a small minded whole. Bengals DEFINE last place.

AFC West

San Diego Chargers
Oakland Raiders
Kansas City Chiefs
Denver Broncos

San Diego Chargers

Great talent. Merriman, Rivers, Tomlinson HEALTHY would make things hum. Norv Turner makes one believe that no matter how much talent, however, they will run into a well coached obstacle in the AFC Playoffs and head home.

Oakland Raiders

More talent. Raiders have drafted early and well in recent years and made a key trade to reel in stud DE Richard Seymour from NE, but the coaching carousel and non-stop Front office intrigue always seem to undo this squad and Seymour is holding to get paid, understandably, before risking his health unprotected on an Oakland squad with high-school level coaching, since no coach with resume would deal with Davis. Davis will pay Seymour and the talent will lead to .500.

Kansas City Chiefs

Ugh. Matt Cassel, all of one season in a stacked deck gets the big deal (see preamble) and then gets hurt. Thigpen was actually playing OK later in '08 and Edwards left some Defenders in his time. KC is rebuilding for next two years.

Denver Broncos

If there is one team, other than the NY Mets, whose fans must want to slice the old wrists over - its the Broncos. They fired Mike Shanahan, a control freak who choked players so tight they played tight and hired Josh McDaniels, a third generation control freak who instantly alienated the most important person in any American males life - a franchise QB with a big arm in his 20's. I cannot imagine how it felt to watch Jay Cutler walk away and Kyle Orton walk in, it can't be a good feeling for sure and Brandon Marshall is only being logical in trying ANYTHING to get the hell out of this place. The AFC version of the Arizona Cardinals, an instant root-against.

San Diego should win and be deep in the AFC Championship against the Steelers, but Norv has failed before and until the talent shows up when it counts, they seem like paper chargers.

NFC West

Arizona Cardinals
San Francisco 49ers
Seattle Seahawks
St. Louis Rams

Arizona Cardinals

I like the coaches, from the Steelers. I like the talent they have on both lines and at WR. I dislike the QB and can't be objective, easily the best team in the West.

San Francisco 49ers

I like Mike Singetary.

Seattle Seahawks

I dislike all Hasselbecks. I dislike all Moras. I dislike this team (but I love Julius Jones!).

St. Louis Rams

Good new coach, but same old Bulger.

Nada from this crew.

NFC North

Chicago Bears
Green Bay Packers
Minnesota Vikings
Detroit Lions

Chicago Bears

Bears look good to me. I think they will have some similarities with the Ravens in moving from a Defense team to a QB team, but I think the Defense will be better than expected and the talented wing guys will finally LOVE their QB. I like the Bears to challenge in the NFC.

Green Bay Packers

Cheeseheads have good young talent on both sides of the ball and Aaron Rogers is terrific and improving, they will push the Bears all year in a classic 'Norris' division tussle that could go either way or end with both in the Playoffs.

Minnesota Vikings

Favre was brought in for ticket sales, not on-field success. That is like Roger Clemens coming back to the Yankees in 1997 with nothing left - its called 'wish theory' and those wishes aint gonna be answered.

Detroit Lions

Got a new Coach and a new QB and hope for better in the future, the future is not now, however.

Bears, Packers NFC elite. Vikes to underachieve, Lions take first steps back.

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons
New Orleans Saints
Carolina Panthers
Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Atlanta Falcons

Everything fell horribly wrong for the birds in '07, the franchise QB went to jail for something out of left field, the hot college coach bailed during his opening act and they looked dead. Enter new coach, new QB and new hope, now add another year of Defensive shoring and Tony Gonzalez from the Chiefs and the Falcons look best here.

New Orleans Saints

I think Drew Brees is a stat guy who will never be a winner and will change my mind when he proves me wrong. This is a scoring machine but not a scary opponent physically, and while they will challenge for the division and the wild card, I see them short on both scores.

Carolina Panthers

I love John Fox and despite the fact his roster show no reason to believe, he has always found a way and has enough running game to stabilize if things break badly up above for more talented Falcons and Saints. Can finish anywhere on the board in the South.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Changing everything all at once, too old is out, too young is in. Good in spurts but not competitive in '09.

No NFC Playoff wins from this crew.

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys
New York Giants
Philadelphia Eagles
Washington Redskins

Dallas Cowboys

Dallas has the best roster in the NFL, top to bottom. They have a Defense which blew away the rest of the NFL in sacks and has added more weapons, they have the fastest starting CB duo in the NFL, both healthy and a terrific depth they've lacked in secondary previous years when they were shallow and slow. They have a great inside LB in Bradie James and the best Defender in the NFL outside in Ware. Romo is only 39 starts into his NFL career, free of TO and Jessica distractions and has the running game all QB's dream of with Marion Barber back from his toe problems, Felix Jones, the NFL's fastest offensive player and Tashard Choice grinding yards through and over defenders. They lack names at WR, but Miles Austin is a blur with gifts and Roy WIlliams should handle things mid range, Jason Witten and Martellus Bennett are an embarrassment of TE riches. Offensive line is suspect against elite coached Defenses, but Romo is quick and elusive and the RB Game unstoppable, so they should be OK there.The main problem is the Head Coach, Wade Phillips, like Norv with the Chargers, has never won or had a team play crisply - Dallas leads all NFL in penalties, turnovers and finding ways to lose games they control and to get blown out when they face a well prepared unit. NFL football depends upon coaching and precision, and this team is built more for highlight reels than Rings. Enjoy them, then watch them crash again late.

New York Giants

The Giants have some terrific young Defenders and a terrific young QB, a bruising RB combo and a balanced, effective Offensive Line. They have some interesting young receivers from the draft as well. But. Manning is not Romo (check the numbers, they are not close) and Dallas has consistently handled this team when Romo and Barber are both healthy and seem to have moved ahead with the blinding DB speed and RB talent. Giant DL is still solid, but the gap between the team in Sacks is tough to see being closed, given the rosters, Giants USED to have Strahan and Umenyiora on the wing, now they don't and their depth took a hit in the preseason. They are hurt but will heal and be better in second half.

Philadelphia Eagles

The Eagles have come from nowhere the last two years to playoff, against all odds. They have Westbrook and McNabb and the best coach around the division in Andy Reid. They have great tackles on the line and DB talent as well, but they are not as gifted as Dallas and will struggle with division opponents on the road. Choosing amongst these teams is like sorting out the AL East this Spring, I saw it NY/BOS/TB and it came down, here its DAL/NY/PHIL so we'll see.

Washington Redskins

They don't defend well enough to scare their divisional opponents and Jason Campbell is inconsistent. Also, I hate the Redskins and always put them last!

Cowboys win the division, lose in the playoffs? Giants claim Wild card and win in the playoffs? That was 2007, is it that way again? We'll see.

Posted by Matthew at 12:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

By Larsen B

I am both completely abhorred and abominated at what I read when I logged on to the Sporting News today. It's maybe more about what I didn't read, so to speak, and the void left a putrid taste in my mouth, nose, and an oriface to be named later. All this concocted, conjured drama again... I'm sure you know what I'm speaking of, or rather 'typing' of. I realize that verbiage is just splitting hares (watch your back, Easter Bunny, don't you push me again) but I like to be all properly syntaxed and/or grammarlicious.

In case you've had blinders on, I'm gonna spell it out for you what's been going on right here, right now:

Out of the 10 top news items that fill the homepage of TSN, not ONE of those items is currently about Brett Favre.

Mike Reiss from the Boston Globe on May 10th wrote:

What is it about Brett Favre and his seemingly annual flirtation with retirement or returning to play that turns media coverage of the NFL on its head? Last Thursday, a reporter from NFL Network delivered a live report from Favre's front lawn in Hattiesburg, Miss., and told viewers, among other things, that he watched Favre's wife leave to run errands.

I'm frickin' dying here, omg. OMG! The media is, like, totally slacking... I sooooooo need to know if he wants surgery, does he NOT want surgery, is his bro-mance with Eric Mangini affecting his final vasectomy decision, what's in store for his future- is he gonna co-coach the Colorado Avalanche with Patrick Wah, join the cast of Dancing with the Stars, and if so and they invite his wife- will ABC change the name of the show to 'Dancing with the Favres," does his truck get good gas mileage, when the sun hits just right, can he see the shimmer of my binoculars from the tree branch down the lane, does he change not only his own oil but the filter too, how does he rationalize the extra $10 to get the teatree shampoo package at Supercuts in this economy, when he wipes himself does he fold the TP neatly or scrunch it up into a little ball, has he eaten pork chops since learning of the swine flu epidemic, who's his favorite Jonas brother, why doesn't he return any of my text messages, when he hears the phrase "gung-ho" does he immediately think 'asian hooker,' when he sees the new dos equis commercials does he scoff at how anybody else could possibly be referred to as 'the most interesting man in the world' even if it involves a fictional character in a fictional setting designed and perpetrated only to increase the sales of a second-rate malt liquor, does he use the same diva sparkle spray as I do, does he really wear Wrangler Jeans in real life and if and when they get washed do they get hung to dry on a clothesline that may or may not be within striking distance of a cleverly hidden crazed fan on foot, what does he think of the new Kentucky Grilled Chicken, did he too have a crush on Julie Andrews aka Fraulein Maria upon first viewing 'The Sound of Music,' will he return to football as a Viking, a Brown, a pylon, an Argonaut, a Somali Pirate, how much longer will he stay ambiguously retired and on the last nite before training camp opens this year will he be riding around in the back seat of a white bronco driven by Sterling Sharpe followed by tens of dozens of media vehicles and police lying across the backseat repeatedly pressing the nose of the football against his forehead wishing someone would just tell him what to do?

If I had a dollar for every time I've been there...

I'd still be just as broke, but that's not the point.

I'll tell you what to do, Brett. To quote the mother of Navin R. Johnson, "the lord loves a working man." The economy needs you, Brett, whether it be as a football player, a personal advice columnist in a home decorating-themed magazine, a live bait salesman, a mystery shopper, a lumberjack-ish paper towel icon, whatever....just get a job, man. And you slacker media types better let me know the second he does.

Here's some more drama in my life:

Went to the liquor store earlier in the week to pick up some crisp and cold Canadian brew and they were all out of Labatt's Blue LIGHT. I'm finally down to one freakin' love handle, and now this happens. Nothing accentuates the NHL playoffs like a few frothy beverages from hockey's heartland, so I sucked it up and got the regular Labatt's. I'll just do a few extra crunches, ummm, tomorrow, yeah, tomorrow!

That's it from my sporty camp today. Stay cool, and stay thirsty my friends!

L.B.

Posted by TMC Staff at 11:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

By sf4d9erfan1


Please Rise!!

The Honorable SF is now presiding. All those who cannot uphold the moral dignity of this court must please exit now and please be sure to not let the door hit you where the good lord split you.

In today's docket we have the age old question of who is the better athlete . . . Deion Sanders or Bo Jackson.

The case is structured as follows:

Defendant: Mr. Prime Time
Prosecution: The bat breaker

Let us jump right in, shall we?

The defendant has made claims that he is one of the fastest men ever to play the game of football and/or baseball. The prosecution laughs at such a ludicrous claim. We all know that during the 80s and 90s baseball speed was measured in the amount of 3 baggers you could post coupled with the amount of steals one could collect. When all the dust settled Sanders was left holding the bag in these categories. The most steals he collected was in 1997 with 56 and the most triple's he collected was in 1992 with 14. This proves that in relation to a majority of baseball speedsters Deion was not even on the same ball field as greats like Ricky Henderson. That being said, the prosecution's laughing jesters were a bit hypocritical as we soon find out that he collected only 27 total bags in 1988 and only 6 triples in 1989. Therefore in relation to the topic of baseball speed Bo apparently didn't know he was creamed by Deion.

The prosecution begs the court to consider power in order to gain back some dignity. Since the court is a merciful one it shall investigate the statistics that apply to this category . . . . Home Runs and RBIs.

The defendant’s smile quickly turns to a disgruntlement as he remembers that his homerun total only managed to reach 39 over the course of his career and his RBI's peaked at 168. On the other hand, Jackson smashed 181 home runs and cleared the bags of 415 base runners in the RBI category. These figures clearly doubling the defendant in both areas and has thus leveled the playing field once again.

VS.



The court has ruled that in order to break the tie an evaluation of their football accomplishments must be accessed in order to determine who the best is.

Since the two opponents were in different position and on different sides of the ball a total evaluation will comprise the final resolution.

Deion accumulated and impressive resume over his 14 years. It is as follows:

Offensive TDs including punt returns: 9
Forced Fumble: 10
Fumbles Committed: 19
Defensive TDs: 9
INT: 53
Pro Bowls: 8

Jackson accumulated an impressive resume over his 4 years. It is as follows:

Offensive TDs: 18
Fumbles Committed: 11
Yards: 2782
Pro Bowls: 1

The court has come to conclusion.
Despite the misfortune of Mr. Jackson's injury and the disdain the ruling judge has for Mr. Primetime, the court must rule in the favor of the defendant. His overall athletic talent on the football field compensated the staggering lead that Mr. Jackson had accumulated in baseball. However, this is not to say that had Mr. Jackson not fell victim to professional tragedy, he could not have overcome poor football numbers and progressed his career to heights far greater then those of Mr. Sanders. This court is now open to appeal by those who may hold it in contempt.


This 49er fan writes with intelligence and wit on sports topics of all manner. Find him here.

Posted by TMC Staff at 06:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Dallas Cowboys 2009 Draft Picks

3 (5) JASON WILLIAMS/ OLB/ WESTERN ILLINOIS
3 (11) ROBERT BREWSTER /OT /BALL STATE
4 (1) STEPHEN MCGEE/ QB/ TEXAS A&M
4 (10) VICTOR BUTLER /DE /OREGON STATE
4 (20) BRANDON WILLIAMS/ DE/ TEXAS TECH
5 (7) DEANGELO SMITH/ CB/ UNIVERSITY OF CINCINNATI
5 (30) MICHAEL HAMLIN/ FS/ CLEMSON
5 (36) DAVID BUEHLER/ K/ SOUTHERN CAL
6 (24) STEPHEN HODGE/ SS/TCU
6 (35) JOHN PHILLIPS/ TE/ UVA
7 (18) MIKE MICKENS/ CB/ UNIVERSITY OF CINCINNATI
7 (20) MANUEL JOHNSON/ WR/ OKLAHOMA

By Matthew Storey

In order to appreciate the Cowboys 2009 NFL Draft, it is important to understand what has happened to this team since the 2008 Draft brought 5 Impact players to Dallas (CB Mike Jenkins, CB Orlando Scandrick, TE Martellus Bennett, RB Felix Jones, RB Tayshard Choice).

Jenkins and Jones flashed the speed that made them the fastest members of the entire draft on their respective sides of the ball. Jones, playing in 5 games, averaged 8.9 Yards/Per/Carry and scored from 33 yards and 60 yards Rushing and added a 102 Yard Kickoff return. He was ready to form the best combination of speed (his) and power (Marion Barber) of any NFL team's RB tandem. Then he got hurt and was never seen again.

Jenkins flashed his big speed from the start, and when Pacman Jones imploded, stepped in opposite Pro-Bowl speedster, Terrence Newman and Cowboys thought they were set. He struggled mightily in his first start, then looked like a veteran in a critical road win at Tampa Bay and looked like a star in the next game, against the Giants when he took an Eli Manning pass to the house for his first NFL TD.
Then HE got hurt and was never involved fully again during the season.

Scandrick moved inside as the Cowboys slot CB in Nickel and Dime packages and played beautifully from the beginning, proving the Cowboys with good interior pass coverage for the first time in several seasons, but with the injuries to Newman, Jenkins and the Pacman circus, was never able to play as part of a cohesive group of CB's. It was always putting out fires for the Defense without it's full compliment of coverage guys, but the Cowboys know they've got two long time starters from Jenkins and Scandrick.

When Jones and Barber BOTH got hurt (the RB and QB situation was every bit as injury ridden as CB), 3rd string Rookie Tayshard Choice was forced into the starting job, a job nobody had any idea if he would be ready for...he put 57 on 11 carries on the depleted Seahawks, then faced the NFL's best defenses in Pittsburgh, Giants, Ravens, Eagles to close out his first NFL experience with 92 Carries for 472 Yards (5.1 y/p/c) and caught 21 more passes, in only 4 1/2 starts.

Bennett, 6'6", 265 lbs of fast, powerful Tight End compliment to Pro-Bowler, Jason Witten, was a revelation with 20 catches for a lusty 14.2 y/p/c and 4 TD's as a 22 year old Rookie.

With those five in place, and secure at all the skill positions but wanting to secure a long-term answer at WR, given Terrell Owens, age (35) and volatility, Jerry Jones traded his early round draft for the services of WR Roy Williams, the #1 Pick from the Detroit Lions, whose 6'3" frame, hands and speed made him the Texas dream boy at Permian High School and Texas University and was, seemingly, BORN to be the Cowboys WR. Owens, reading the tea leaves, freaked out and the season went down the hole, but the Boys cleared the decks and prepared to go with Roy as their #1 for the next several years and to promote the squadron of good young WR prospects they've stockpiled behind the scene-stealing T.O.

That set the Cowboys up with a chance to turn away from the high-ticket Draft pieces, they don't need RB's, STARTING caliber CB's, WR's, TE, or Offensive Lineman. They've got their franchise QB (Tony Romo) and Defender (DeMarcus Ware)...

So what DO they need?

They need some 'Football Players'! The Cowboys are, perhaps, the DUMBEST NFC team, a team that features the most penalized, turnover prone group imaginable who played, consistently, some of the worst Special Teams in Cowboy history.

When a team loaded with marquee talent struggles, their are always interior reasons. And the 2008 Cowboys had them all...the Injuries, the Penalties, the Distractions, the Turnovers, the poor Special Teams and they had 12 Draft Picks to address the need to rebuild that Special Teams unit, draft pairs of proven College players who PRODUCED ON THE FIELD, rather than astounded in the drills.

They want to continue to add Pass Rushers to their NFL Leading 59 Sack Defense (led by 8 sacks) and went out and got the Big 12 Conference Sack Leader, DE Brandon Williams of Texas Tech and the Pac-10 Conference Sack Leader, DE Victor Butler of Oregon State and added IAA stud, OLB, Jason Williams of Western Illinois. All of whom figure to see time swarming passers as Cowboys gave up on the unproductive Chris Canty and signed Olshansky to handle the run responsibilities so they can unleash Anthony Spencer, Ware and the three kids from all angles. All three make HUGE upgrades to the Special Teams mix.

Then they smartly addressed niche weaknesses that KILLED them in '08, drafting freakish USC Placekicker, David Buehler, to serve as a Kickoff specialist with a HUGE leg. Cowboys have a terrific and accurate young Kicker, Nick Folk, who they love, but he is not a booming kickoff guy and had ZERO Touchbacks in '08, Jerry Jones specifically targeted Buehler to pump kicks into opposing end zones and to play special teams on other coverage units (has to be a first!). Buehler is 6'2", 227, runs a 4.65 40 and outlifted 3 Offensive LINEMEN in the combine. Sometime this season, you are going to see some fast kick returner think he is deaking a 'kicker' and get PLASTERED by the freak on a tackle.

Somewhere, Jerry Jones AND Guru will smile.

Boys grabbed a 3rd TE to block and make up for the TERRIBLE Tony Curtis, whose lazy blocking cost the Cowboys a game in Arizona when he failed to block ANYONE and allowed a game winning punt block, in the end zone, in overtime. New guy, John Phillips of Virginia, is more of an extra Tackle than pass catcher, but Witten and Bennett give the team all the receiving they need and he will be a godsend for the protection.

Seeking to upgrade at their weakest position, Cowboys took FS Michael Hamlin of Clemson, SS Stephen Hodge out of TCU and took BOTH Cincy Bearcats CB's Mike Mickens and De Angelo Smith, all of them multi-year starters with strong statistics. Mickens is the best player, but is coming off an injury that dropped him from a top 15 slot.

From there it was a series of flyers, strong armed RB/QB, Stephen McGee of Texas Tech, who will be asked to run the 'Wildcat' formation where his powerful running and 65 yard arm can make big plays while gaining experience behind Tony and new backup, Jon Kitna. HUGE OT Robert Brewster of Ball State and WR Manuel Johnson of Oklahoma, productive players on winning teams.

A SMART draft by the DUMB Cowboys is enough to put a smile on Guru's face during Baseball Season!

Posted by Matthew at 05:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

By Paul White With the start of the NBA play-offs just days away, and the NFL draft the following weekend, I have been forced to face a hard reality – my sporting world is out of whack. Restoring order to my universe requires solving two, very large and complex problems:

1. How do we get the Dallas Cowboys back to their rightful place as the premier franchise in the NFL?

2. How do we derail the juggernaut that has become the Los Angeles Lakers, so the Spurs can at least have a shot at winning the Western Conference sometime in the next three to five years?

At first glance, both propositions seem impossible. However, there is a solution that virtually guarantees success. It will take some masterly manipulation to implement it, but it's actually a very simple concept.

We need to swap Jerrys.


We need to bring Los Angeles Lakers' owner Jerry Buss to Dallas and install him as the majority owner of the Cowboys. In return, we need to export Jerry Jones to La-La land, so he can be the owner/general manager/personnel director/de facto head coach of the purple and gold.


That might sound like a strange proposition coming from me. It is well known and well documented that I despise the Lakers. In my mind, they are the hardwood equivalent of the Evil Empire. In fact, I am reasonably sure that if Darth Vader were a real person, he would have courtside seats next to Jack Nicholson at the Staples Center.


However, while I loathe L.A., I have nothing but respect for what this franchise has done. The Lakers have always been one of the best run organizations in all of professional sports. Buss continued this tradition when he bought the team thirty years ago. He has surrounded himself with front office talent and then stayed out of the way. As a result, the Lakers have rewarded him with eight titles during that span.

Getting Buss to go along with the deal won’t be hard. When original owner Clint Murchison put the Cowboys on the market back in the mid-80’s, Buss expressed a serious interest in acquiring the team. However, Tex Schramm prevailed upon Murchison to sell the franchise to another Texan. Murchison then sold the Pokes to Bum Bright (big mistake) who in turn sold out to Jones (bigger mistake).

Surely, this is a memory Buss still carries with him. Men like him, who are accustomed to getting everything they want, do not like to be denied. Just a hunch, but I would wager there is a part of Jerry Buss that still secretly covets the Dallas Cowboys.

The biggest obstacle in this plan is going to be prying the Cowboys loose from Jones. For all his faults (and they are legion), Jones truly loves this franchise. He will not give it up willing.

Fortunately, we are in Texas where strange things happen everyday, and even stranger things happen in election years. As fate would have it, we are about to plunge into a knockdown, drag out battle for the governorship.


The incumbent, Rick Perry, is trailing challenger Kay Bailey Hutchison by double digits in the early polls. He will do anything to get our support. During a tax day “tea party” on the steps of the capital, he went so far as to mention that Texas might consider seceding from the union.

Anytime a Texas politician mentions the words “secede” and “union” in the same sentence, you know right away they are desperate. This works out perfectly for our Jerry-swapping conspiracy. Desperate politicians are easily exploited.

According to wiki.answers.com, there are just under 13-million registered voters in Texas. While there is no way of knowing for sure, I believe you could conservatively estimate that 5 million of those voters are serious sports fans. These 5-million people would unite under one banner and pledge their support to Governor Perry, if he will use all his political skills without regard to ethical considerations or legal ramifications to get the following legislation passed:

1. No person can own a professional sports franchise in Texas unless that person was born on Texas soil and has remained a resident of this state during the course of his entire lifetime;

2. A non-native Texan will be excluded from this rule and allowed to own a Texas franchise provided he can meet the following criteria:

a. The prospective owner already owns another franchise in another state and is willing to divest himself of that franchise;

b. The prospective owner was on the faculty of the Chemistry Department at the University of Southern California;

c. The prospective owner has a daughter who has posed in Playboy; and

d. The daughter who posed in Playboy has slept with the current head coach of the prospective owner’s out-of-state franchise.

Granted, such a piece of legislation is unconstitutional on its face, but that is beside the point. We can hash that out in some appellate court at some future date. The important thing for now is to swap Hillbilly Jerry for Hollywood Jerry by whatever means are necessary.

The instant this happens, Jerry Buss will get on his private plane, jet over to North Carolina, knock on Bill Cowher’s door, hand him a blank check and turn over the reins of the franchise. We will not see or hear from Buss again until the opening game, when the networks will air a shot of him sitting in his owner’s box with a piece of bleached-blonde, Texas arm-candy.



With a solid foundation of talent already in place, a good jolt of Cowher Power will have the Cowboys right back in the Super Bowl. There will be several Lombardi trophies in our immediate future. And as joyful as that will be to watch, the real pay off in our scheme will come from watching the Lakers fly off the rails.

After firing Jimmy Johnson, it took Jones about 2-3 years to completely run the Cowboys into the ground. That was with a deep roster of 50 players and a coaching staff of 15. It won’t take him near that long to destroy the Lakers – six months would be a good bet. I can already envision the series of events.


1. Jones “re-assigns” Mitch Kupchak and appoints himself as the GM. When asked what he knows about the game of basketball, Jones informs the media that he played some hoops in the 8th grade and is therefore qualified to run the Lakers.

2. Within the first 48 hours, Jones holds an impromptu press conference and pledges that he will not interfere with Phil Jackson in anyway. “Phil is my man, and I trust him completely,” will be Jones’ closing remark.

3. Within 10 days, Phil Jackson will resign as the head coach of the Lakers when Jones informs him that “we need to get away from that triangle thing on offense.”

4. Within 24 hours of Jackson’s departure, Jones will hold another press conference and say, “There are at least a thousand coaches who could win a championship with a team this talented.” He then introduces his new head coach, Isaiah Thomas. (Zeke will go on to coach in Los Angeles for three seasons, during which time he diagrams a few plays, but otherwise engages in sexually harassing the Laker Girls.)

5. Within 30 days, Jones will begin to put his stamp on the roster. He decides that Allen Iverson is “misunderstood” and signs him to a 5-year, $54-million contract. He then trades Andrew Bynum to Houston for Ron Artest, explaining that “Ron will be a true superstar in this league in the right place.”

6. A week later, he deals Pau Gasol to Golden State for Stephen Jackson, who Jones feels “will really prosper playing with a character guy like Kobe.”

7. Once the season starts, Jones positions himself directly behind the bench where he can be seen scribbling notes and handing them to Thomas. An investigation later reveals Jones was actually sending plays to the coach. Further investigation reveals that Thomas ignored the owner’s suggestions, but Jones was too ignorant to know it.

8. As the trading deadline approaches, the Lakers find themselves seeded 13th in the Western Conference play-off picture. Kobe begins wearing a Terrell Owens' jersey and refuses to talk to the coach, his teammates or the press. He sets an NBA record by taking 176 shots in a single game, and three nights later, he breaks his own record by taking 244 shots.

9. Hours before the trade deadline, Jones calls another press conference. With a tear in his eye he says, “I love Kobe Bryant like a son. Because of that, I am going to let him go.” He then announces that Bryant has been traded to the Chicago Bulls for Derrick Rose, Eddy Curry, and three, second-round draft picks. Not only do the Lakers miss the play-offs that year, they never have another winning season throughout the entire 21st century.

Granted, this is nothing more than a far-fetched fantasy. Still, I hold out hope. Never underestimate the tenacity of a Texan with an agenda. If you doubt that last statement, just ask Al Gore and whoever was running his campaign in Florida back in 2000. Come to think of it, that whole reference to the 2000 presidential election just gave me an idea.

Does anybody have James Baker’s phone number?

Posted by TMC Staff at 07:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

By Paul White

"If Roy Williams doesn't turn out to be the player they thought he would be when they made the trade,I think this would be one of the biggest busts in the history of the league."
- Troy Aikman

Under normal circumstances, Troy Aikman’s assessment of the Roy Williams trade would be dead on. The Cowboys surrendered their first-, third- and sixth-round draft picks this year, and a seventh round pick in 2010, for a wide receiver who has gone over 1,000 yards only once in a five year career.


However, the Cowboys are far from normal. Given Jerry Jones' track record in the NFL draft, the odds are Dallas would have blown at least one, and probably two, of the those selections. Therefore, this deal will be hard pressed to rival the disastrous trade of two first round picks to Seattle for Joey Galloway.

However, the purpose of this article is not to bash the Cowboys' front office. There have been ample opportunities to do that in the past. Hopefully, there will be less of them in the future. In fact, this trade might earn the much maligned Jones some badly needed credibility.

Granted, Jones rolled the dice by giving up so much for Williams. He raised the stakes even higher by releasing the cancerous, yet productive, Terrell Owens. But in the final analysis, this could actually pay off for Dallas due to one simple fact - Roy Williams, if properly utilized, could be the next great Cowboys receiver.

When Williams joined the Cowboys, he hit a Lone Star trifecta of sorts. He has now played for Texas’ premier football program at each level of competition. If this man who starred at Odessa Permian and excelled at the University of Texas can duplicate that success in Dallas, Jerry Jones is going to look very smart for a change. There are several compelling reasons to believe that could actually happen.

The first of those is Williams himself. He has all the tools – speed, size strength. And yet, he has never lived up to his potential in the NFL. The reason for this is quite simple – in high school and college, he was “The Man.” Prior to being drafted by the Lions, he was the premier receiver on every team he was on. More importantly, he shined under those conditions.

That never really happened for him on a consistent basis in Detroit. It was never going to happen in Dallas as long as The Cancer was on the roster. That has all changed. Williams is now the primary focus of the Cowboys' passing attack. Once again, he is “The Man.”

Also, do not discount the importance of Jason Garrett. Contrary to what the media says, the Princeton graduate is just as smart now as he was in 2007, when he was the hottest coaching commodity in the NFL. In fact, it is safe to assume he analyzed what went wrong last season and learned from it. Now that he does not have to placate The Cancer’s fragile ego, do not be surprised if the Dallas offense returns to its 2007 form. Williams, Jason Whitten and Patrick Crayton form a solid receiving corps. Marion Barber, Felix Jones and Tayshard Choice comprise a ground attack that should be as good as any in the league.

I have always had a theory about Jerry Jones. As the Cowboys' General Manager, he seems to be handicapped by what we refer to in Texas as a “Wildcatter” mentality. For those unfamiliar with the term, a Wildcatter is someone who drills for oil in an unproven field. It is a high-risk, high-reward proposition. All the early Texas oil fortunes were made this way. Quite a few fortunes were also lost in the same manner.

We always hear about the huge gusher (i.e. a well which produces at a prolific rate). What we don’t hear about are the nineteen dry holes the prospector drilled before striking oil. We have all watched Jones apply this principle in making Dallas’ personnel decisions. While there have been the occasional strikes, there have been too many years like 1995.

That year the Cowboys were able to assemble three picks in the second round. This was a golden opportunity for a team that had just reached the NFC title game and won two out of the last three Super Bowls. By adding three of the top 63 players in a strong draft pool, Dallas could strengthen an already deep roster and separate themselves from the other 31 teams in the league.

With Jones calling the shots, the Cowboys selected RB Sherman Williams of Alabama, TE Kendall Watkins of Mississippi State, and Michigan State OL Shane Hannah. Needless to say, these are not names you will ever find in the Cowboys' Ring of Honor. Hannah never played a down, Watkins caught one pass in his two-year career. Sherman Williams is the only one of this trio who ever contributed, gaining 1,000 yards in five seasons as Emmitt Smith’s back-up.

The draft of 1995, more than any other reason, tells us that trading three picks for Roy Williams might have actually been a smart move. The odds of Jones using all three picks wisely were virtually non-existent. The West Texas native is a known commodity with at least one pro bowl season under his belt.

More than that, he also has a huge upside. And after a string of dry holes, Jones is due to hit a gusher. He is, no doubt, uttering those nine words spoken by every oil man right before the drill bit first pierces the ground -- “This is a big one – I can feel it.”

This time, he might be right.

Paul White is a seasoned sports and political writer and the managing editor of the Texas Star Tribune.

Posted by TMC Staff at 05:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

I skipped the Super Bowl Party this year...no trip with Smooth Stan, Stewie and The Great Weitz (Herbie the Bookbinder)...no happy handshakes with Anthony and Ralph, their friends and staff...no great food and booze...

I just wasn't feeling it.

This NFL season, that began with my Dallas Cowboys as consensus favorites and ended with their 44-6 pummeling at the hands of the Philadelphia Eagles, dropping them from the Playoffs...and featured Teams that were DEVASTATED just O-N-E year ago, in Atlanta - where you hoped they'd be down for a half dozen years after losing Michael Vick, and Miami, who were 1-15 last season, making the playoffs instead...just not Guru's kind of Sports - I like the form to hold up and the big market, traditional powers to hold sway...

So, as I've written, the Pittsburgh Steelers, with their charismatic young coach and appealing mix of players, great tradition and strong season certainly fit the bill.

Then you have the Arizona Cardinals.

Ugh...I saw them give up 56 points to the Jets, trailing 34-0 at Halftime, saw them lose 47-7 to the Patriots and 44-21 to the Eagles, while going 3-7 against the NON-NFC West NFL.

Not my kind of Super Bowl Team.

Then think about the State where they play, which has, to be sure given us the wonderful Big Toke and the American Hero, John McCain...but also is the land of Barry Goldwater, Jerry Colangelo, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, The Despicable 'MinuteMen' vigilantes and the Diamondback fans who spit on NYC less than two months after 9/11 at the conclusion of the 2001 World Series and behaved like a mob of kindergartners in their playoff loss of 2007 to the Colorado Rockies.

Not my kind of place. Dallas might actually have a WORSE roster of elements (although Arpaio and the MinuteMen are pretty L-O-W...) but I'm stuck with my Cowboys, whether I like it or not.

And then, as if reborn from the fires of Hell, you have one of Guru's All-Time least favorite Sports figures, Kurt Warner and his creeeeeeeeeeeeepy wife, Brenda, leading the Cardinals on and off the field.
It's tough to tell he if she is scarier with the Short Spiky Hair of 1999 or the Stepford Wife Blonde from today. Either way?

Yikes!!! Seven kids for THOSE two? That's just wrong!

But I watched the game, from The Aerie, without sound, while I did some writing...and it was pleasant and greatly entertaining Football after all. Warner, who may be garbage as a human being, is playing terrific Football at the QB position in these Playoffs. He was masterful in the NFC Championship against the Eagles and terrific again last night. As with the St. Louis Rams, earlier in his career, he plays a bit of an 'Arena' style game - flinging the ball around in controlled conditions, one of the reasons he has traditionally done so poorly when playing in the elements and he has never had the good fortune of playing on a truly balanced team with a real Championship caliber Defense...

But, dislike him as I do, you have to give the guy credit - as a PLAYER. He made three Super Bowls on teams that struggled to defend and that is impressive. Like most of my least favorite people in Sports, he is an impact performer between the lines (Curt Schilling, Dustin Pedroia, Jason Varitek, Lance Berkman, Jeff Kent, Tom Coughlin, Matt Hasselbeck....) and you HAVE to be able to separate the two and call it as it is.

I have just done so, but I still wasn't about to go celebrate any game that featured such a person...every time his wife appeared on the screen, I felt a visceral dislike...like the feelings Sarah Palin evoked once she was revealed to be what she is.

As many of you know, I struggle to understand how so many of you dislike men I admire, Alex Rodriguez, Terrell Owens, Barry Bonds, Randy Moss, Manny Ramirez...they are my sorts of people and, from the comments I've read and the 'Joe Buck Meter' (all that Joe Buck admires is shit to me and all that I admire is shit to him), I know you love Warner.

You can have him! We are all free to root as we wish and for whom we wish, it's interesting to learn what others admire and I enjoy sharing my own biases.

Anyway, there were some special moments. Certainly the James Harrison INT with .02 seconds left, Arizona about to score...100 yards, breaking tackles - KNOWING that being brought down would end the scoring chance and making it into the End Zone was the ULTIMATE big play.

Biggest Game.

Last second.

Full field.

14 point swing.

Wow, it surely took the sting out of my man, DeMarcus Ware, not winning the NFL Defensive Player of the Year award. Harrison took one bad penalty, but he is pure stud, for sure.

Guru walked away from the laptop on that play and stayed away to watch the Boss and the E-Street band do their thang - quite a rush.

Warner and the Cardinals were valiant and the Steelers did what they do, I have seen this exact same 4th Quarter time-after-time and, each time, Coach Tomlin says 'that's who we are'.

And it's true, Super Bowl Champions for the 6th time. Congratulations and BLESS YOU for keeping Kurt and Brenda from the trophy and our living rooms!

Posted by Matthew at 10:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

First, a bit of follow-up to my last column 'The Unbridled Bigotry Beyond the Manny Situation', I got a ton of important responses and constructive criticism from you folks and will follow up on the topic and the discussion in my next posting.

Nobody prefers talking about the GAME to talking culture more than Guru, it is what I love about my Yankees - the blending of Pinstripers into the whole and the lack of opinion relating to matters other than Baseball that eminate from their clubhouse...it is a stance that gets CRITICIZED in the New York Press as reporters openly COMPLAIN about the Yankees 'relentless professionalism' (William Rhoden, New York Times) and the lack of newsworthy quotes supplied by Captain, Derek Jeter.

Modern sportswriting/reporting has two schools, that of Legendary Turf Writer, Joe Hirsch (2/27/28-1/9/09) who kept his insight on the sport and shone his insight into people's lives only upon their request or their notable worthiness (his use of language, knowledge and graceful way of removing himself from the work was the finest column work I ever had the pleasure of reading and he inspired me in everything I attempt, you may not be a Horse Racing fan, but if you are someone who puts keyboards to work - you owe it to yourself to google up samples and then, you'll know...). Sadly, the Hirsch (or Blackie Sherrod of the Dallas Morning News) methods did not translate well to tabloid coverage or cross-promotional gossip/culture war...the man who started that school, the DOMINANT one in American media, circa, 2009, was Dick Young (10/17/18-10/30/87) of whom it was said "With all the subtlety of a knee in the groin, Dick Young made people gasp... He could be vicious, ignorant, trivial and callous, but for many years he was the epitome of the brash, unyielding yet sentimental Damon Runyon sportswriter". Young was the first reporter to go into the locker room and consider players lives and backgrounds fodder for his opinions, every time you hear a reporter demonize a guy (Jim Rice, Barry Bonds) for being surly with media, rather than simply judging him on his ABILITY and PERFORMANCE, that is thanks to Dick Young. The combination of this change and his open bigotry and conservatism single-handedly changed The New York Daily News coverage into what it remains today, a pugnacious, xenophobic, lily-white enclave and it contaminated mainstream outlets like TSN - when you read Richard Justice, you are reading a Young-disciple.

When you read Guru, you are getting a guy who aspires to Hirsch, but is not immune to the Young-like tenaciousness that is part of him. My politics and outlook may be 180 degrees opposed to Young's, but I am capable of losing my cool in his manner - and I regret that. My plea contains the caveat that I feel I MUST respond to monolithic coverage, particularly that leveled upon minority athletes. Reading these pages, as we all do, it would be EASY to come to the conclusion that there are no divergent opinions relating to Manny, to Barry, to T.O...and FACTS don't seem to intrude upon those opinions. Manny goes to LA, lights up a city, gains the admiration of men like Don Mattingly...and Joe Magrane still feel empowered to say that bit about him needing 'adult supervision' on NATIONAL TELEVISION.

We ALL need to understand what is behind that and how corrosive it is to American discourse. Their is no wiggle room left, we either come FULLY and UNAPOLOGETICALLY into the 21st Century, embrace our diversity and move BEYOND the differences between us or start to watch entire portions of the USA devolve into wastelands, the way old mining towns in the West have.

Take a look at Michigan. Take a look at Kansas. Ask yourself, what happened here? Every time a person in one of those places tells themselves it's 'because the hispanics took my job or the companies shipped my job away', they are building a crutch, the same way the Nativists who tried to fight off the Irish, the Italians, the Germans, the Jews did. Those people disappeared over time and the newcomers are now some of the same people complaining about the brown or the gay or the female or the 'immigrant' - in the ultimate irony. Every minute you spend thinking about what a 'great world this would be' if more people were JUST LIKE YOU, is a minute wasted and builds a likelihood that you will be left behind. Don't do it, let's ALL move forward and challenge ourselves to do better.

I am. I will. I do.

Onward...

Guru is a Cowboy fan. You know that. Guru had critical parts of his youth reduced to agony because of one franchise, a team that denied my Cowboys in two historic Super Bowls ('76 21-17, '80 35-31) by a total of EIGHT POINTS on their way to FOUR Super Bowl Championships in my formative decade, the 1970's. Later, as I grew up (a little!), I looked back in awe at that team - The Pittsburgh Steelers (in my archives is a column devoted to that illustrious squad, but there are so MANY columns that I can't locate it---just re-read them ALL, then tell me which one it was!). When a team places NINE of its twenty-two starters in the Hall of Fame and at least one of them from every position group on an NF team, it becomes easy to go from feeling bad about losing those two Super Bowls to being PROUD to have competed with their like and hung around. That the Cowboys got a measure of revenge when the talent equation was in their decisive favor ('96 27-17) would probably have provided a measure of solace, if it wasn't the LAST playoff game the Cowboys have won, a thirteen year stretch that would have been unimaginable to even the creepiest Cowboy-hater in those days, but then again, in 1996, if you said Dubya would be a two-time President, folks would have medicated you - and not the fun way!

While the Cowboys fell on hard times and then fell over themselves even as they restored the talent, the Steelers kept on doing what they have done since Chuck Noll walked in the door and took the historic losing, threw it aside and ushered in the marquee franchise.

Make no mistake. The Steelers are THAT franchise. The Cowboys have had distinct periods of success in every decade of their existence, and won Five Super Bowls...the 49'ers built their own horde of HOF types and won their own Five Super Bowls, but those Cowboy teams in the '70s and '90s were better 1than the 49'ers and those Steeler teams were better than Dallas. San Francisco was irrelevant for years before Walsh and for years after him, the New York Giants have had periods of greatness, but long stretches of pathetic play...the Patriots were awful for decades and have only the recent era to point to, the Green Bay Packers were the dominant club in the 1960's and had that brief shining moment in '97...

The Steelers, under just THREE coaches and one ownership group, in 40 seasons, are the best franchise in the sport. The Rooney Family, who started the franchise in 1933 and had to wait decades to see their investment come to the fore, have handled the ensuing decades of success to perfection. Of the pre-cap dynasties, ONLY the Steelers have remained in the mix of NFL elite and claimed a Super Bowl Championship under the different systems. Whether it was Noll (1969-1991), Bill Cowher (1992-2006) and now, Mike Tomlin, the Steeler way is a winning way. You have to tip your cap in admiration, even if you are a Cleveland Browns fan - ESPECIALLY if you are a Browns fan, who know only too well what bad management results in, having lost their historic franchise for several years.

One only needs to look at the fortunes of the Steelers (or the Penguins) or to Pittsburgh's renaissance as a new-economy model after being buried in the collapse of the Steel Industry (see Red Sox Steve's work on VagabondGuru.com or the New York Times article relating to Pittsburgh, sorry for lack of links...) to put the lie to claims by Pirate management that they 'can't compete'. Pittsburgh is and was a big time place with a can-do attitude and 'can't compete' should be taken in another way - SELL! Not as a siren call to change the scope on the game. Winners win. The Steelers are winners.

Which brings us to this season's playoffs.

I asked a friend of mine, a Washington Redskin fan (tolerant Guru!), what he would say to someone who invited him over to watch a game between the Arizona Cardinals and Philadelphia Eagles, he laughed in my face and said 'I'd rather work in the yard or sleep!'. When I asked him about a potential 'Ravens' Cardinals' Super Bowl, he said 'who would watch that?'.

Who. indeed.

Obviously, if you are an Arizona Cardinal, Baltimore Raven, Tennessee Titan, Philadelphia Eagle fan, you are or were, enjoying this year's playoffs. The teams have taken care of their business on the field and have every right to be proud.

In Arizona, the 'Steeler' way taught by former coaches Ken Whisenhunt and Russ Grimm, a Pittsburgh boy who played for Joe Gibbs, on Redskin champions has provided tough to blend with the flash of their wide receivers and the big arm of Kurt Warner. They are an 8-8 team from an awful division who gave up FIFTY-SIX points to the Jets. A GREAT team is not on the list of possibilities for them.

BUT..Warner is one of the NFL's dreariest personalities and was seemingly 'washed-up' just a few years ago...he will always be a hero in St. Louis and they are behind him in Arizona, but to the National fan - he's a turn-off on a team that is both the OLDEST franchise in the NFL and one of six to never play in a Super Bowl. Impossible to care for, about or root for, at least in the Aerie.

In Baltimore, the expansion Ravens have had a serious competitive history, winning the Super Bowl during the trough of post-Cap football that almost killed the sport, the dreary years from 1997-2004 that saw many of THIS year's Playoff heroes have their best moments (Warner, '99, Kerry Collins, '99, Ray Lewis, '00, Donovan McNabb, '03, Jake Delhomme, '04). The Ravens have played solid Defense, as always, and gotten decent play from their rookie QB, Joe Flacco, but Joe is a Delaware grad (air rushes from the Aerie...) and the team is one only a Marylander could love...they have no national profile and no chance at being a GREAT team.

Like Warner, the hope is that Lewis (as with Collins and Delhomme and, hopefully, McNabb) will be eliminated at SOME point...although with McNabb and Warner facing off in the NFC Title Game, some dreariness is assured.

The Eagles have been on a terrific tear, but they are also the team that tied with Cinncinatti, they are a testament to coaching, resilience and their mercurial leader, Donovan McNabb, what they are NOT is an interesting story or a GREAT football team.

Which leaves only ONE team standing that can truly claim the mantle of GREAT and provide the non-represented fan with a rooting interest in these festivities.

We'll examine the games themselves later this week, but needless to say...the Aerie and the Magic Carpet are rooting HARD for Mike Tomlin, Big Ben Roethilisberger, Troy Polamalu, Willie Parker, Hines Ward...big names, big talent, team history, recognizable fan base and uniform...

GO STEELERS! Save America from the Dreariness of the 2008 Season by winning impressively and sending the ghosts of the NFL's worst years to sleep.

Posted by Matthew at 04:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Since the announcement in Early 2007 that Wade Phillips was being hired as Dallas Cowboy head coach, Guru has been one of his fiercest critics.

From the moment he was hired, I pointed out that in 30 years of Professional Coaching, from time with his father, Bum and the '70s Oilers to Denver to Buffalo and to San Diego, the pattern was the same...

Talented teams who played loose and comfortable, but invariably made the big mistakes at critical junctures and lost to more focused units.

The final year in San Diego, the 14-2 Chargers manhandled the Patriots, only to lose when a DB took a 4th Down, 4th Quarter INT and tried a runback, rather than simply take a knee and seal the win.

Naturally, the 2007 season ended when the 13-3 Cowboys manhandled the Giants for 40 minutes, but came completely apart late to blow a certain victory.

In 2008, the Cowboys have been amongst the most penalized teams in the NFL and were coming off a loss in a game in which they held the Steelers to 105 yards through 3 periods and dominated both lines of scrimmage, only to turn the ball over F-O-U-R times and blow the win inside of two minutes.

Point being - To this point in his career and his Cowboy tenure, his team(s) have played STUPID football.

Dallas, possessing dominating talent on both Offense and Defense, has squandered much of their season on bad penalties, mindless turnovers, horrible special teams and critical mind-cramps. Those are the places where Coaching can make a difference, you can't 'create' talent on Offense or Defense, you either have it or you don't. BUT you teach efficiency, respect for the ball, simple things like DON'T LINE UP IN THE NEUTRAL ZONE, BLOCK THE OTHER TEAM ON EVERY PLAY...Special teams is simply a matter of concentration and EFFORT.

Much of all that was in evidence again last night against the New York Giants...

Cowboys perpetrated a mind-boggling ELEVEN penalties for 108 yards, or exactly 50% as much yardage surrendered to the Giants as they earned (21 through their efforts. A dizzying array of 3rd Down stops were undone by Defensive Offsides, Holding, Hands to the Face...and a complementary number of Offensive drives moved two steps forward, one step back from an endless variety of holds and false starts...

Ahead 14-3 in the 4th Quarter, with the Defense in complete control...the Cowboy offense found itself pinned down near the goal line, with only a meaningless 3rd down to dispense with before punting the ball away and Defending. Incredibly, the entire Left Side of the Offensive line completely missed the snap count, allowing Giant linemen to run unimpeded towards an already injured Tony Romo, sack him for a Safety and barely miss scoring a game-tightening TD. It was reminiscent of the Cardinal OT loss, when Dallas failed to block two Cardinal rushers, who promptly blocked a kick for a game winning TD (first time in NFL history) AND broke the foot of Cowboys All-Pro Punter, Mat McBriar...

Train-wreck stuff.

But you know what?

It didn't matter.

The Cowboys manhandled the Giants physically, the way they did the Pittsburgh Steelers last week and this time, Romo took care of the ball and managed the game brilliantly. As with last week, their Defense took free reign on the QB (8 Sacks) and shut down the opposing receivers, despite playing a CB at Safety (Anthony Henry) and two rookie CB's (Mike Jenkins, back from an injury in the 1st Giant game and Orlando Scandrick). The Giants couldn't run, they couldn't throw, they were overwhelmed throughout and the Cowboy Defense gave up ZERO TD's. Since going to Tampa Bay and holding the Bucs to 3 FG's, the Defense has surrendered 1 TD to the Skins, no TD's to the Seahawks, 2 meaningless garBAGE time TD's to the 49ers after taking a 32-9 lead and 1 TD to the Steelers before none for Big Blue.

On Offense, with Marion Barber playing on one foot and Jason Witten somehow gritting it through his battered, broken body and backup RG, Montrae Holland, joining starter, Kyle Kosier, on the injury BUS, they were ably augmented by 3rd String RG, Cory Procter, who came in and stabilized the Giant rush, which had been tearing up Romo early...by mid-third Quarter, the Cowboy line was leaning on the Giants. That size advantage and time for Romo allowed him to utilize the magnificent skills of Rookie tight-end, 6'7", 265 pound Martellus Bennett and Rookie RB, 3rd String Tashard Choice, who ran around and over the Giants in the 4th Quarter, adding 9 carries, 91 yards and a TD plus 4 catches for another 52 to his 166 all-purpose yards against Pittsburgh.

With the brilliant Rookie RB, Felix Jones out for the season and Marion Barber nursing his own cracked Toe, Choice has stepped up for a healthy 326 yards (5.3 p/carry) and caught another 13 passes (11.7 per catch), culminating his impressive debut with a 40 yard game clinching TD on Sunday night. This is a rookie being thrown into a desperate situation against the league's top Defenses and dominating.

Wow.

In fact, this years Cowboy draft is looking like an all-time winner.

Felix Jones, the fastest Offensive player in the draft, Jones played sparingly in 5 games but managed TD runs of 60 and 33 yards on his way to 266 yards on only 30 carries (8.9 Yards per carry). Oh, and he also had a 102 Yard Kickoff return. His injured toe cost him this season, but his future is glittering.

Mike Jenkins, the fastest DEFENSIVE player in the draft, Jenkins struggled in his first start against St. Louis, when forced into the lineup by injuries to Terrence Newman and PacMan Jones suspension...but was terrific in the next game, giving the Buccaneers nothing and then helping hold Eli Manning to 147 yards passing in the Meadowlands and running back an INT for six. He got hurt in that game, but returned last night and shut his man down cold.

Orlando Scandrick, the only Cowboy DB to remain healthy all year, he was put in the slot out of desperation and has proven to be a shutdown type right out of the gate, speed, instincts, tackling...all were on display against both Pittsburgh and New York.

Martellus Bennett and Tashard Choice, we've already spoken of.

Five IMPACT picks from late selections in each round. Next time you hear some know-nothing criticizing Jerry Jones for not hiring a 'Football' guy to handle the GM duties...think about this draft.

Or think about this. Jones went out and traded draft picks (he knows he doesn't need on his loaded, young team) for proven stud WR, Roy Williams, who is basically an insurance policy for Romo amongst Witten, Owens, Bennett, Crayton, Austin and the backs. Williams would have been the feature WR for the Giants, even IF Plaxico Burress was playing.

Too bad TO didn't score, I was hoping he'd do 'The Plaxico', you do a couple of salsa steps, bang back a couple of drinks...

and shoot yourself in the thigh!

Whatever the Cowboys are NOT, and we've detailed their sloppy, undisciplined play throughout this discussion...they are the greatest assemblage of talent on any NFL roster and, in any game they manage to avoid turnovers, have to be considered the favorites. Such teams rarely win it all and I am under no illusions that the penalties, turnovers and special teams gaffes will rear their ugly heads again these final two games and into the playoffs (if they make it).

But the Cowboys proved their toughness and talent these past two weeks and, whether its under Phillips this season or someone else in the future, this much talent is going to be impossible to deny sometime real soon.

Posted by TMC Staff at 12:45 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)